A Cigerette Or A Teddy Bear?
by PeanutButterMongerWhore
Summary: A best friend returns home, one who delights in torturing those around her. Will she drive everyone insane or will they in turn learn to love her crazy ways and accept her raging personality.


**Chapter One - The Calling For Home**

"ihateyouihateyouihateyou" - Speech

_'whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck'_ - Thought

**I DO NOT OWN ANY YU YU HAKUSHO CHARACTERS OR THE SHOW!!**

**However, I do own Jaidyn.**

She inhaled slowly, because that was really the only way to smoke these damn things. Her eyes were narrowed as she stared or rather glared at the tree in her backyard. _'Damn thing, why the fuck is it still there in the middle of MY fucking yard. Goddamn useless plant. I hate plants' _

She wasn't the most sound of people when it comes to her mental sanity. Which was obvious to most people. Sighing harshly, she put out her smoke, or as her sister called them cancer stick. She made a sound akin to a grunt and had a saw in one hand and a browning in the other. She was very serious from the look on her face and looking at her you would have the distinct impression that she was going to war. Yes, she looked that grave.

Then all of a sudden she gave a very loud screech and launched herself at the offending 'plant' in the middle of her yard. Hacking at it with the saw in her right hand and shooting at the trunk with the browning in her left hand.

In short, she looked like a mad woman.

Her name was Jaidyn Swan and she was dead set on killing the damn offending plant.

_'GODDAMNIT WHY WON'T THIS DAMN THING DIEEEEE!!'_

She stopped when she ran out of bullets and good thing she did, she heard her phone ring. It was an extremely loud ring at that, as well. Well, she was a writer by trade and she did tend to get caught up in her work...all day. So, she had a loud ringer to wake her out of her trance-like states she tended to regress into when she was onto something. However, this usually did not work.

As she walked back to her crotchety old home, she wondered who could be calling at this hour. It was about four in the morning. Swiftly navigating through the mess that she called a living space, Jaidyn answered with a.."Who the fuck is calling me at this hour and what the fuck do you want?! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF KILLING MY TREE!! What is so important that you have to bother!!" All in one breath, she said this, yes all in one breath.

The other line was quiet for one moment. "Jaidyn. Shut the fuck up. I'm more important than your fucking tree."

"Oh. It's you. What do you want Shizuru? I'm kind of in the middle of something here."

"I wouldn't call that in the middle of something, but whatever Jai. I want you to come to Japan."

"Why the fuck would I want to come to Japan?! I just moved here...three years ago. Really why would I want to come back?"

"Because your best friend wants you here. You're getting on a plane tomorrow. So shut the fuck up. I've already set it up. See you soon."

Jaidyn was about to blow a vein. She wanted to argue but the other line went dead. _'Fucking Shizuru!!' _She started to look at the small gun in her hand with a psychotic narrowing of her eyes. _'If only... if only...'_ Her hand twitched with the temptation to pick up her gun and shoot across the world and have the bullet hit inbetween Shizuru's eyes.

Just at the though, she started cackling like a witch out of bad water. The thought alone made her more cheerful. Sighing fitfully Jaidyn began packing the things that mattered to her. All of her books, papers, manuscripts, awards, more books, more manuscripts, more awards. Then came her most prized possesions..

Guns, guns, and guns. Ske kind of has a fetish for gun, very obviously. Then came her daggers, her nifty collections of swords and all different kinds of things she liked to torture her favorite victim with.

You see, being Shizuru's best friend, they had always tortured her baby brother. Let's just say that she was pretty damn creative and Kazuma was terrified of her. _'Hahahha! I guess there is a bright side to going back. TORTURING KAZUMA!!'_

So, most people thought that she belonged in an insane ayslum. That was okay with her, as long as they gave her daily apple juice. Otherwise there would be some issues as far as she was concerned.

The thing about her and Shizuru, she and her had made a fantastic team ever since they were in Preschool. Shizuru was quiet and glared at everyone, while Jaidyn was just completely crazy and scared everyone. It was that way all throughout their school careers. Then she moved to America for some God forsaken reason that she couldn't even remember. Now she was moving back on her orders from her best friend.

_'This might actually be more fun than murdering my tree!!'_

Finally having everything she wanted packed, she made her way to the Post Office and ordered all of her things sent to Japan. And then decided to head to the Airport right after hacking off all the branches on her tree.

_'VICTORYYYYYY!! ...I think'_

After reaching the Airport, Jaidyn quickly boarded her plane. Deciding that the fourteen hour flight would be a good time to sleep. She slipped off to sleep, anticipating the torture of Kazuma. Little did she know she would have many opportunities to torture many more than just Kazuma...


End file.
